When Love Feels Unsteady - Holding On Through Hard Seasons

A gentle note: This conversation touches on adult topics and may not be suitable for little ears. Please listen with care. 

This episode is a little bit of a bonus—one that found its way here in a way only God can arrange. I’m grateful it did. 

Episode Summary

When a relationship feels fragile, it can be hard to know what to do… or even what to say.

In this episode, Laura sits down with Tammy Noble to talk about what it looks like to hold on through difficult seasons in marriage. Through honest conversation, Tammy shares from her own experience of struggle, healing, and restoration.

This isn’t a conversation about perfect relationships.

It’s about real ones—the kind that feel unsteady, tender, and in need of care.

If This Episode Feels Close to Home

If you’ve ever felt:

• Like your relationship is carrying more than it can hold 
• Unsure if things can feel steady again 
• Tired of trying to hold everything together 

You’re not alone. 

In This Episode

• What “holding on” looks like in hard seasons 
• The emotional weight inside struggling relationships 
• How healing can begin (even slowly) 

The role of faith in restoration 

About Tammy

Tammy Noble is a marriage mentor and ministry leader who is passionate about helping couples move from survival mode into a deeper, covenant-centered connection.

With honesty and compassion, Tammy speaks into the real struggles many marriages face—inviting people to step away from pressure, performance, and disconnection, and return to a more grounded relationship with God and one another.

Her message is shaped by her own journey through seasons of striving, fear, and misplaced identity—experiences that impacted both her sense of purpose and her relationships. 

Through surrender and realignment, she encountered the kind of restoration she now gently helps others discover.

Blending biblical truth with practical wisdom, Tammy supports couples in rebuilding trust, strengthening communication, and rediscovering who they are—both individually and together.

Her heart is to see marriages strengthened, families restored, and individuals rooted in an identity that no longer strives, but rests in something steady and true.

Connect with Tammy

If you’d like a simple space to pause and begin your week grounded in faith, Tammy hosts a free Monday morning prayer gathering for marriages in a private Facebook Group. It’s a quiet, welcoming time to come as you are, seek God together, and start the week centered and supported. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3590901304538789 

Take it at your own pace… only if it feels right for you.

Counter Pause 

Before you move on with your day…
just take a moment.

Is there a place in your life right now
that feels a little fragile?

You don’t have to solve it.
You don’t have to fix it.

Just notice…
and take one slow breath there.

Breath Prayer

Breathe in: Love is still here…

Breathe out: Even now.

Closing Blessing

My friend, hear this blessing…

If things feel tender right now,
may you know that you are not alone in it.

May you find small moments of grace
in the middle of what feels uncertain.

And may you trust—
gently, slowly—

that even fragile things
can be held with care.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to At the Counter with the Baking Pastor. I'm Laura. Pull up a chair. There's no rush here. This season, we're sitting with the hard days. The ones that don't resolve quickly. The ones that change us in ways we we didn't ask for. Here at the counter, nothing needs to be fixed. You don't have to have the right words. You don't have to have it all figured out. You can just come as you are and stay a while. This is hard days at the counter. As you come to the counter today, just a note, if you have little ears, you might want to listen to this particular podcast using your earbuds or later at a time when those little ears are not close by. There's gonna be some adult language and topics in this. So just wanted to give you a heads up. Today's conversation is one that touches something very close to home. Because sometimes the unsteady places in our lives aren't out there somewhere, they're right inside the relationships that we care the most about. And that can feel especially tender, especially confusing, and sometimes especially lonely. And wherever you are today, whether driving, folding laundry, chasing kiddos, sitting with a cup of coffee or tea, or just trying to make it through the hour, I'm really glad you're here. Joining me at the counter today is Tammy Noble. Tammy is a marriage mentor and ministry leader who is passionate about helping couples move from survival mode into deeper covenant-centered connection. With honesty and compassion, Tammy speaks into the real struggles many marriages face, inviting people to step away from pressure, performance, and disconnection, and return to a more grounded relationship with God and one another. Her message is shaped by her own journey through seasons of striving, fear, and misplaced identity, experiences that impacted both her sense of purpose and her relationships. Through surrender and realignment, she encountered that kind of restoration she gently helps others discover, blending biblical truth with practical wisdom. Tammy supports couples in rebuilding trust, strengthening communication, and rediscovering who they are, both individually and together. Her heart is to see marriages strengthened, families restored, and individuals rooted in an identity that no longer strives, but rests in something steady and true. Today she now walks alongside others in their own hard seasons, offering support, perspective, and hope where things feel fragile. And today we're making space for an honest conversation about what it looks like to be unsteady, especially in love. Welcome, Tammy.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Hi, Gloria. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

So was there a season in your own life where things looked okay on the outside, but disconnected or strained underneath?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Oh that was a long season, actually. We would often hear from friends and family and neighbors that they had idolized our marriage and the life that we had built and shown people to the outside many wanted. That their goal was to make their relationship look like ours. But what they didn't know was the junk that happened behind closed doors. And that became so much and so burdensome and so yuck that it bled became a public breaking. A marriage that started outside of God. My husband and I both grew up in the church. We knew of God. We went to church, we read the Bible, but we didn't know how to have a relationship with the Lord personally, and that left a marriage full of addiction, identity issues that became lies, and seeking validation from people outside of God and outside of our marriage. I was not an easy person to be married to in our younger years. I probably still am not, but definitely a lot easier to be married to now than I was before. And the same with my husband. I, as a stay-at-home mom, struggled with the isolation. And uh when he came home, I was not a very loving, welcoming wife. I handed him children, I nagged on him, yelled at him, needed all the things, and all of my ick of the day just kind of word-vomited out onto him and the stresses of being a stay-at-home mom. And he dealt with that by working more, which created the perpetual cycle. Also had some un I don't like the word diagnosed, but for this we'll say undiagnosed mental health issues, unhealed and undelivered issues. I became s I began self-medicating again with drugs and alcohol. I started filling the void of my husband's attention and time and love with it. Started out with simple messages with old friends from school, male friends, that turned into emotional and mental affairs, which then grew to physical affairs.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Um we lived like this for 15 years.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

In 2011, I was fed up, and in my last straw of trying to get my husband's attention, get him to hear me, things needed to change. Those words kept falling on deaf ears, and my last ditch desperate attempt to get his attention, I moved out.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

That's pretty bold.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

It is. At least what appeared to be freedom at that time. I had freedom from household responsibilities, marriage responsibilities, motherly responsibilities, because I had left my children with my husband in their home, in our home. My struggles with drugs and drinking took on a life of their own. My affairs became public knowledge, and I became known as Tequila Tammy, the town drunk. Bringing shame not only on my husband and my children, but parents, siblings, family, and close friends. Bought myself two DWIs, spent some time in jail. I have a nice record and a icky conviction, but none of those are too much for the Lord. I have a trigger warning, ladies and gentlemen. Because of the stuff I was struggling with, I had gotten to a point where I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. And the loneliness and the ick that I was trying to numb and the pain I was trying to escape, I then started struggling with suicidal ideation, and I had attempted to take my life more than once. But God.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Thank goodness, but God.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

My phone was just out of reach. And I was drowning in vomit. I was dying on my living room floor in my apartment, just a mile up the road from my husband and my children, unable to cry out for help. But in my heart, I asked God to forgive me. I asked him to take care of my husband and my children. I asked them to, I asked the Lord to help them not resent and blame him for my actions. That they wouldn't turn from the Lord, but that they would draw nearer to the Lord in my death. Because I knew death was impending.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Were you like, wait, what? I'm still here.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I actually didn't even remember being in that place. I just woke up with a hangover, embarrassed of myself, and my predicament of being on my living room floor full of vomit. And I had no recollection. It wasn't until two weeks later when I was taking a walk down to my husband and my children that the Lord started bringing it back to me. He showed me in those moments, it was a complete and utter surrender to him. Where I had said prayers before, but there wasn't a heart surrender. It was mouth worship. It was, it was, you know, please of you know what my mind wanted, but my heart wasn't in alignment with what my mind was saying, what I knew to be what I should be praying and saying for myself, my husband, my kids. Um, and in that desperation of that night, my heart was aligned with the things. My heart was what was crying because my mouth couldn't speak. And the Lord showed me that it was in that true surrender of my heart that He could finally work in my life. Because I had been asking things before of God, but my heart wasn't in the right place. And that was the catalyst for change. I then started praying and asking God to help me want to want to be a mom again. It's not that I didn't want to be a mom, but I didn't want to go back to I I had a party life. I had freedom. And the thought of going back to my marriage and my children, it felt like a prison. So I asked the Lord to help me want to want to be a wife again, to want, to want to be a mother again, because I had realized that even though I loved them, I didn't want that life. I wanted this thing that looked fun, but it was actually killing me. And my husband and I sat and talked a few weeks later, and we said, we're gonna give it a go. We sat the kids down. We knew that mom had done, family had done a lot of damage, and we talked to the kids and said, This is what we're gonna do. And my husband and I said that, you know, we're putting God first. And then we were gonna work on our healing and our marriage and restoring relationships with our children all at once.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Not not just a marriage, not just all this, but everything. Oh, you went for gold. We did.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Because we knew we had to. My boys were teenagers and they were spiraling out of control, and I had two young daughters crying out for attention and love and a mom. And I had a marriage that was on the verge of divorce. It was do or die.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

So, what did that season feel like before the shift that you and your husband were praying for feel like?

SPEAKER_01 13:22

I would like to say it felt full of love and grace and mercy.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

But in all honesty, joy.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Um my husband and I actually quit working. The Lord said, No, you're gonna both quit working, you're gonna stay home and you're gonna focus. So during the day when the kids were in school, we shut ourselves in our room and we didn't come out. We had hard conversations. We talked about things that most marriages don't want to face. We talked about why to sit and talk about why one feels the need to go outside of marriage and how that could have been different. And then God showing us both in the moments of conversation. Jeez, he was sitting right there that whole time. I didn't need to step outside of my marriage, I just had to learn how to go to God for him to fill that void of loneliness, for him to give me the strength to crucify my fleshly desires of sexual encounter, for him to fulfill everything. And my husband learned in these moments of hard conversations of you know, you I feel abandoned because you're at work. He didn't know how else to do anything. All he knew how to do was to provide. And in these conversations, we heard God. We prayed together, we held hands even when we didn't want to touch each other or look at each other. We refused to allow the enemy to push us apart more. Now, was there arguments? Yes. Was there times that there was screaming and still tears? Yes. We broke up messy and coming back together was messy, but God was in every moment of it. We prayed, we truly submitted our marriage to God and we asked him to show us how to rebuild our marriage on him. And in the meantime, we were still learning what it was like to go from the religious practices to having a personal relationship with the Lord. But as Holy Spirit showed us these things, we were able to incorporate them into our marriage, but also into our own personal healing. And those things dribbled down into our relationships with our children.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

So a couple things you said struck with me, and then one popped out that we haven't touched on. So, yes, you were in a marriage and you felt alone. But I think there are people who right now may be listening who are not in a marriage, either because they've never found the right person or their marriage broke up, whatever, who feel completely alone.

unknown 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

And I think that what you shared, you know, from you know, when you didn't have the words at the time, your heart, as you said, you had a mouthful of vomit. It wasn't you, but it was it was your heart basically screaming out for help. And I think others could could benefit from that because a lot of people are like, Oh, I feel lonely. I feel like God God abandoned me. And I'm like, No, that usually means you kind of sidestepped away from him a little bit, or you've forgotten he was there.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

You know, Laura, the other thing is this, okay. So those of us who have asked Jesus into our hearts, and we have truly made him his our Lord, right? We have to learn how to have a relationship with him personally. I talk to God like I'm talking to you right now. So do I, and he answers when I listen. Yes, but before I would talk to him, I didn't know how to hear him, I didn't know how to recognize his voice, and I didn't know how to receive from him. And here's the other part I didn't quite understand how he could fulfill a loneliness from a spiritual standpoint when it was such a physical loneliness. I need a girlfriend to talk to. I need, you know, my husband needs a guy friend to talk to. I don't, I just need to talk. And he's he's right there. He wants to be a part of the little things. He doesn't just care about praying our children into the kingdom. Yes, he cares about those things. But can I tell you he cared when I wanted a freaking chocolate milkshake that I never asked for? And in my heart, I'm like, man, I could go for a milkshake. And without even knowing it, my husband stopped at the store and brought me home a milkshake. My husband doesn't have ESP. Thank goodness. Holy Spirit, Abba Father, just cares and loves me so much that he heard my heart's cry and decided he wanted to shower that love and spoke to my husband. And my husband may not even have recognized or realized that it was God. He might have just thought it was him. Oh, let me bring my wife a milkshake. These are the kinds of things that this God that we serve does. He cares about the little things just as much as the big things. And when we realize that a spiritual thing can actually fulfill a physical thing almost more than the physical thing, we learn to look for the spiritual. We are spirit beings in a human body. We've only been conditioned to hear and receive from a human physical space. And we have to make the shift. We have to ask Holy Spirit, our teacher and our helper, to show us how to receive and live here and be from a spiritual standpoint. That's the key to finding true fulfillment and strength to crucify our flesh, to walk in complete wholeness so that we can have a healthy us, a healthy relationship with the Lord, a healthy marriage, healthy relationships with our children, our parents, our siblings. I mean, families are falling apart, especially in the United States, because we're looking for physical, monetary things. People are living in houses full of clutter because they're trying to fill a spiritual need with physical things. Husbands and wives are stepping outside of their covenant marriages because they're looking for a need to be fulfilled in a physical way, when the spiritual way is so much more fulfilling. But until we can learn how to partner with God and come from a spiritual standpoint and let that override the physical world we live in, we're gonna find emptiness. We're gonna find emptiness in our relationship with God. We're gonna find emptiness in our relationship with our spouse. We're gonna find emptiness in our own soul. My identity didn't come from being a mom, a stay-at-home mom and a housewife. My identity got destroyed when I tried, you know, I was known as Tequila Tammy, or, you know, the the biker chick that I was known as, or the coach who taught college kids and beat their butts on the pool table. You know, that was an empty, excuse me, that was an empty identity. It was an identity of the world. Yes. When I started to submit and ask God and hear him of who he created me to be and understand that I'm truly his daughter, what that meant, I could start to heal. And my validation no longer came from attention from my husband, from men outside of my marriage, how well my children behaved or respected me, or if people in the church noticed me or people in the community knew me. It came from who I am and him.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

I'm so glad you talked about you talk to God like you're talking to me, and he talks back. Because I hear I, you know, I I know he and I talk like that. This morning, as I was getting ready, making the bed, I was telling him about my day. And and I think some people go, Yeah, I'm I'm talking to God and and I'm listening, but nothing's coming back. But all they do is blah, blah, blah. I mean, I talked and and then I paused and I said, Lord, will you will you bless the conversations today? Will you bless my work today? Will you help help the right people that need to connect to me today? Connect to me, be be a part of it. And then I just stopped and I waited. And he talked to people differently. Some people hear it, some people feel it. And I'm glad you said that you you talk because I tell people he he should be your your father, your best friend, and and you should have a conversation with him, just like like we are. And they're like, but you I get over it, just talk to him. Trust me, he he won't judge how you're dressed, how you're talking. Um, I was listening to a video this morning someone sent me about their church, and they had taken this this hymn, and they had taken it through like four or five generations, and one of the generations was like the 90s. And so the person who was helping with the skit had pulled the shorts down, you know, put on a pair of basketball shorts, had them halfway up, put on a jersey and some bling, and he's like, yo, and and I'm sure people in this church were like he did not just just yo us, right? And he proceeded to to do like the verse of the song. And but again, God doesn't care that he was up there with bling around his neck. He doesn't care if we show up as a hot freaking mess. No, that's when he likes us the best.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

That is, because that's when we are humble.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Right?

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Or should be.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Should be. But I'll tell you, you know, within the church structure, I get frowned upon a lot. I show up in ripped jeans and hoodies and a messy bun, and and when church service is done, you know, God has delivered me from cocaine and alcohol and all sorts of other crap, but I still smoke cigarettes. After church, I'm out in the parking lot and I'm lighting one up. And I get judged. When I first started going to church, I showed up in pajamas with my blue and pink hair. I'm full of tattoos. It is what it is, you know. And I used to there are times I yell at God. I yell, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'd rather yell at him about the thing or to him about the thing than blow up on a human being and cause hurt. God's shoulders are big enough. And I think people forget Moses murdered, David was an adulterer, Jonah ran away. I I think God forgets that He chooses those that don't pretend to be perfect but understand their flaws.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Oh, you forgot one of my favorites, Gideon, and all his questioning.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Um, can we talk about the naked prophet who walked around in his underclothes, literally, underwear, no outer clothes and no shoes, for three years proclaiming the word of the Lord? Can we talk about how David danced till his clothes fell off? Yes, so you know, the thing is God knows everything, he knew I was angry, not at him, and but those of you that are angry with God, he already knows.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Talk to him and hide it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Tell him, tell him, tell him he knows, he knew that I was a broken heap and mess, but until I cried out to him, wanting him, begging him to teach me how to hear him, I couldn't hear him. I didn't recognize his voice. I didn't know how to decipher my own thoughts from the lies of the enemy. And if those of you who don't think that there is not a little minion in your ear on your shoulder whispering, those cartoons from the 70s are so real. Okay. I wish y'all could see me. You got a devil over here, and you got an angel over here, and you got God going, okay, who's she gonna listen to? We have to know his voice. We have to know him. We have to have, we have to move from the religious practices of I prayed for half an hour, I read my two books, and now I'm just gonna go do the best I can to be a good human to a personal relationship where I recognize his voice. When I when I when Laura and Tammy are talking on the phone every day, I don't need caller ID and I don't need to say hi, and you say, hi Tammy, this is Laura. I know when I answer the phone, I go hello, and you're like, hi, I know it's you because I've recognized your voice. I know your tones, I know your patterns, I know your personality. And that getting in his word and talking to him and taking the time to listen is how you learn to know him. You practice it. That is the only way to get yourself wholly healed, fully delivered from the bondage, and it is the only way to heal your marriage and your relationships. It's yes, you can you can do counseling. I refer people to counseling all the time. But if you're doing counseling without God, who is the healer and who is the deliverer, he is the one who formed you, who created you, who knows you and your spouse. I feel like it's a waste of time and money and effort. Yeah. Because we can't change our behavior. We can do change, we can do be we can do, let me slow down. We can do behavior modification because we truly do want to be better people. So we try and we change our behavior, and it only changes for a little while, and then we lapse back to doing the same old stuff. True change comes from a personal relationship with the Lord, and as we fall in love with Him and we allow Him to love us, we are changed internally. We have a heart change, which naturally brings a behavior change. And those natural healings and deliverance and behavior, heart change, which brings behavior, true behavior change from the inside out, those are the ones that start healing relationships.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

You know, there's there's something about hearing a story like yours that reminds us how much can be happening beneath the surface of any relationship. As you said, things that weren't always visible to everybody else, things that necessarily aren't easy to name, and then it it feels familiar to you, like you're not the only one. And the the theme that that keeps popping in my head, and I know it it's I call them God doinks. Talk to me about forgiveness because y'all were in a oh yeah, keep a broken place, he had a whole lot of stuff, you had a lot of stuff. I mean, especially when other people are intimate with with our people. Yeah, forgiveness can be a booger bear.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

It can. The thing is, it's not something that has to end a marriage. We choose forgiveness.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

So I know I work with people a lot who struggle with forgiveness because they they have this stinking thinking that says thinking or forgiving equals forgetting. And we're not gonna forget. The whole point's not to forget, and in as I look at it, it's to release the shackles that are holding us to it. And then they're like, oh, but I'm not letting it go. Why is it so important that you can't let it go? What is it about forgiveness? Because I mean, this isn't like a minor one, right? This is a huge one.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

So the world tells us one, the world tells us we, you know, that forgiving means that it's okay, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:02

That their behavior that they did was that our forgiving themselves, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Well, so here's the thing. One, we're told to forgive. And if I can't forgive someone else for something they've done to me, God can't forgive my sins. It says it in his word. It does. If I harbor unforgiveness, he cannot forgive me my sins. And we are commanded to forgive. Now, here's the thing that people don't understand. Giving forgiveness freely does not say what they did is okay, and it does not release them from the punishment. Now, that being said, we shouldn't be the ones to hand out the punishment. We don't want to forgive because we want to cause them to hurt like they hurt us. And because we're still hurting, we want to still hurt them. Now, here's the other thing forgiveness begins healing so that we don't have to hurt, so we don't have to keep the perpetual wheel of hurting in pain, hurting in pain. Now, I want to back up a moment because I really want your listeners to hear me. This is a very difficult thing to understand sometimes. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an action. And we have to make a choice to take an action. My husband had affairs on me just as much as I had affairs on him. My husband lied to me as much as I lied to him. He struggled with his own addiction as much as I struggled with my drinking and drugging. I had to choose to take the action to say, these things that you have done have hurt me, but I love you and I forgive you. Now the pain doesn't go away just because you said those words. And they could apologize. And here's the thing we are actually told to forgive even if they don't apologize.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

True. And I think one other thing people don't think about not choosing to apologize or to forgive is still a choice.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

It is a choice. Now, after you've made the choice to forgive, and you say the words to them and to yourself and to God, there is still the yuck. And that's where people think that they're still struggling with unforgiveness. And yes, we may have to forgive over and over and over again and tell ourselves no and tell God and remind Satan I have forgiven them. You will not torment me with the things that have been in the past. I have forgiven them and I am moving forward. Okay, it is a spiritual battlefield. It's not a one and done. It is not a one and done. But those emotions that are still there, those are things called hurts. Those are the things that you don't go to the person who hurt you, you go to Abba Father. And I will, there are times, listen, my husband and I have been back together 10 years now. Okay. And there are still times in this 10 years that I get lonely where I will get an image of him in my head with somebody else, and he'll do the same. And we have to go, you know, it'll hurt in your stomach, right? Or your chest will hurt, or your head will hurt. I physically put my hands wherever that pain is when that thought comes up, that ick, and I will just say, Abba, Abba, it still hurts right here when I think of this. I have forgiven him, but this part still hurts. Please heal me here. I am giving you this hurt. I don't want to hold on to it. I have released my husband. Continue to heal me. And healing emotionally and physically, it's like an onion. It's layers, it's layers because God is more interested in our journey than our destination. He wants a true inner healing in our mind and our will and our emotions and our body. It's a slow process, one of surrender. And again, if if we don't know who we're surrendering to and how to hear from him, we can't walk out this year this journey of emotional healing. And we can say we forgive, but the pain is still there. And it's true, hurt people hurt people. So we gotta get ourselves healed. Well, we don't, okay, we don't gotta get ourselves healed. We have to partner with the Lord for his healing.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

I think the more we are in relationship with him and are building that relationship, the easier it is for us to hear him know it's him. Just like you and I getting to know each other, like you said, when you answer the phone, you know, when I call my family, we answer really strange ways, like hola, yeah, because we can. And when we say goodbye, we don't usually say bye, we say turtles. So, you know, we have you know people, and when you know people intimately, you know it's them. Yes, you know it. You don't have to say caller ID, who's who's calling, right? If you're doing the Gideon thing, like, is that God? Is that God? And you you need to spend some more relationship time with him.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

So and and too, yes, spending time with him is the most important, the quickest way you are gonna learn his voice. But there are people who can teach you how to do that. So if you don't know and you've asked God, ask your people, ask your prayer warriors, ask your intercessors, ask those prophetic people in your lives to teach you how to hear from him, how to recognize his voice. But mostly it's you got to be in the word, you gotta be in his word. He is the word, and the word is he.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

For people who are on the struggle bus with their faith, or maybe not feeling as strong, or maybe even new believers. Yeah, how did they learn to be stronger in that faith, their new faith?

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Practice.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Practice.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I don't remember the address in the Bible, but actually tells us to work out our faith.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Just like we are chasing after our, you know, like just how we were chasing after our our husbands or our wives, or that crush we had in in middle school. You you chased him. You picked up the phone, you called him all the time, you wrote them love letters, you you went out on dates, you you tuned out the rest of the world just to have that one-on-one time with that person. Date Jesus. Chase after him. Yes. Daily, multiple times a day when you can't sit and read the word. You know, today's technology is flipping amazing. Get the Bible app, let it read to you while you drive to work while you're showering. Get to know his word because he is the word. Talk to him, ask questions.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Yeah. So I start my day every morning, my cat and I call it time with um coffee with God. And so I have a special chair where all my devotionals, my markers, pens, journals, my coffee will fit and be out of the reach of the kitty. And then I try and juggle her, the Bible, or a devotional and my coffee. But I spend time with him every morning. And like you said, like if I if I have something on my mind, I'll open the Bible and wherever it opens, I'm like, okay, Lord, you opened it here, what's here? Or pop open the Bible app. Oh, that's today's verse. Interesting. How how does that apply to me?

unknown 39:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

So how how is your day start with God? Where at what point do you do you have intentional time with him, other than like all through the day?

SPEAKER_01 39:48

So because my day is literally all day long with him, I talk to him more than anybody. In fact, my family's finally realized I'm not insane. I'm not talking to myself, which is really nice for them to learn. I think my neighbors still think I talk to myself when I walk through the neighborhood. But um, my mornings are actually very simple with him. Very simple with him. Papa, thank you for today. Thank you for waking me up. I give you permission to lead my day, direct my steps. I plead the blood of Jesus over myself, my marriage, my children, my mind, and everything pertaining to us. Father, I give you permission to not only lead but interrupt my day. And then, because I am the person that I am, I am a multi-business owner and I have a lot of stuff that I do, I go about my day. My time with him is what with the Hebrew calendar would consider sundown, is the start of a new day. But that's when I can wind down and I can sit with him. That's when I read my word. That's when I I'm praising him. I have worship music on. It's he's all throughout my day. He is my constant confidant, he is my constant companion. So I don't do life outside of him. That's what the Bible refers to as abiding, right? I don't want to do my dishes. You know, Lord, thank you that I have dishes to do. Thank you that I have a family to even feed, to have dishes to do. Thank you that I have food to cook. Thank you that I have a house to do dishes in, you know, because there are people that don't have those things. I, Lord, I don't want to get up right now. I want to take a nap. I mean, the this is my day. Lord, look at that dog. He's done it again, he got in the garbage. Papa, my husband is driving me nuts. Come get your son. Like, this is how I do my day. You know, so I my time with him is all of the time. But I sit in the evening, is when I am studying and getting in the word more to learn him deeper. And don't get me wrong, he has permission to interrupt my day. So if it's noon and he says, I need you in acts, and I have a noon appointment because I'm self-employed, I reschedule that appointment, and my appointment is now at noon in the book of Acts with the Father. Now, my husband, who's not self-employed, would say, Okay, Lord, we're doing acts while we're on lunch. You know, it's I do life with him like I do life with my spouse, my sister, my parents. It's he's not of this world. He is this world.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

So, Tammy, for someone who's listening who feels like their relationship is fragile right now, what would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_01 43:04

Oh, the first thing I'm gonna tell you to do is stop trying to fix it. I know that sounds counterintuitive, because when we're trying to fix it, we're usually trying to fix the other person. And we can't fix or change someone else. And I would say to you, your Abba Father, your creator, the God of covenant wants you to invite him into your marriage, and he wants to heal the parts of you and fulfill the unfulfilled needs for you while you journey with him and pray for your spouse. Because only God can bring true change to your spouse, and that's only if your spouse is willing. To submit to that change with the Lord. But even if your spouse isn't willing to do the work, God can help you and sustain you, and you can still be a godly spouse and look to him to fulfill the voids. And it can still be okay. There is hope when Jesus is in it because he is hope.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

So if you're listening today and something in this conversation feels really close to your own story, you are not the only one. And just because something feels fragile doesn't mean it's already broken. Sometimes it just means it's been carrying more than it was meant to hold all alone. Tammy, is there anything you want to leave anybody with today?

SPEAKER_01 45:10

Don't let shame or pride hold you back from asking the Lord or for seeking help. He loves you. He wants nothing but the best for you and your marriage or your relationships with family. He's just waiting to be invited in.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

Is there a place in your life right now that feels a little fragile? If there is, you don't have to solve it. You don't have to fix it. Just notice it and take one slow breath. Tammy, thank you for your honesty, your vulnerability, and for trusting us with part of your story. I am so grateful that you've been with us.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Thank you for having me. It's it's an honor and a pleasure, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

And y'all, if you you'd known we we were supposed to have chatted maybe a year ago on other levels, and God works in mysterious ways. If you would like some simple place to pause and begin your week grounded in faith, Tammy hosts a free Monday morning prayer gathering for marriages in a private Facebook group. It's a quiet, welcoming time to come as you are, seek God together, and start the week centered and supported. Don't worry, we'll include the link in the show notes. But I think we need to take a prayer breath. As we breathe in, say love is still here. And as we breathe out, even now, my friend, hear this blessing. If things feel tender right now, may you know that you are not alone in it. May you find small moments of grace in the middle of what feels uncertain. And may you trust gently and slowly that even fragile things can be held with care.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Thank you for sitting at the counter with me today. If something in this conversation stayed with you, you might want to carry it gently into your day, no need to rush past it. And if you need a place to pause, reflect, or simply breathe, you can find more at daretoliveagain.com. Until next time, take a breath, notice what's in front of you, and remember, you're always welcome here at the counter.